You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld

The blurb of ‘You Think It, I’ll Say It’ describes the unifying themes of Curtis Sittenfeld’s first collection of short stories as “how even the cleverest people tend to misread others, and how much we all deceive ourselves”. Specifically, the … Continue reading →

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Hotel du Lac by Anita Brookner

I haven’t read many of the early winners of the Booker Prize but ‘Hotel du Lac’ by Anita Brookner is one I have been meaning to read ahead of the Golden Man Booker Prize celebrations later this year. It tells … Continue reading →

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Lullaby by Leïla Slimani

Winner of the prestigious Prix Goncourt and recently translated from the French by Sam Taylor, ‘Lullaby’ by Leïla Slimani has been one of the most talked-about novels so far this year, partly inspired by a real-life case of a nanny who … Continue reading →

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Whether you’re too fat or too fit, seems like you can’t win.

Hey guys,

You know, these days social media has been getting on my nerves. Specifically some of the comments I’ve been reading on Instagram and Facebook. Everyone seems to be offended at literally everything. It seems that people think they can tell you how to look, what to post, and then threaten to unfollow you because you’ve “changed”.

You see, I got engaged last year, so I always knew that making a Bridal Bootcamp series was in the cards for me! It was so fun to finally create the Bridal workout calendar for all my Blogilates Brides, including myself. I’ll be getting married to my fiancé Sam this Fall and I will be wearing some of the most extravagant dresses I’ve ever worn in my entire life! So…if you were wondering if I was going to do anything special in terms of my food and my workouts, the answer is DUH.

But turns out some people didn’t like hearing that.

“You’re such a hypocrite. Aren’t you supposed to be body positive?”

“Why can’t you just be happy with your body?”

“Why do you have to make other brides feel like they have to lose weight before their wedding?”

“You’re sending a bad message about body image with the Bridal Bootcamp.”

Ummm.

On one hand, I get that wanting to work out harder and eat better might make it SEEM like I don’t love my body. But the key word here is “seem”. Because body image is a state of mind, and you’re not inside my head, you can’t tell me what my intentions, my goals, and my feelings are. Plus, who ever said that you couldn’t be body positive while wanting to transform your body?

These two things are not mutually exclusive.

Here’s the problem you guys. I think we all know that fat shaming is not okay. And the whole body positive movement has been incredibly amazing in making that message clear. As I was gaining weight a few years ago after my bikini competition, it was so helpful to see other women embracing their natural curves, rolls, and cellulite! It made me love my body more. I also think it has helped to normalize beauty standards. Social media and the body positive movement really did us good.

But, there always seems to be a point where the movement and the message goes from creating positive change to then being misunderstood and then abused.

This is the case with skinny shaming and in this case, weight loss shaming! I’m glad society is finally learning that it’s NOT OKAY to tell someone they’re fat. But this doesn’t make it okay to say the exact opposite. You can’t choose to be body positive one way but not the other!

So when it comes to me wanting to work out harder and eat better for my wedding, can someone please tell me what is wrong with that? I want to work hard so that on my wedding day my skin is glowing, I feel confident in my dress, and I feel amazing walking down the aisle. So yeah – my body is going to change and yeah – I’m gonna love it.

Now let me clarify something. Just because I’m changing, does not mean I can’t also cherish my body at the same time.

Let that sink in.

Just because I’m changing, does not mean I can’t also cherish my body at the same time.

We must learn to love our journey at every micro step of the way. THAT is what body positivity means. Change in no way means self hatred. Change is simply our progress. All the mini befores, mini nows, and mini afters will be strung together to create our unique journey.

So if you currently have a problem seeing someone evolve, I ask that you look within yourself. Why are you so upset? Why are you so offended? Why do you assume this person (or me in this case) hates their body? That is a lot of energy you’re spending worrying about someone else when you could be spending it on bettering yourself.

So there you go guys! Main takeaway? Stop hating on people’s bodies and start loving on people’s character.

The post Whether you’re too fat or too fit, seems like you can’t win. appeared first on Blogilates.

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4 3 2 1 by Paul Auster

Shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize last year, ‘4 3 2 1’ by Paul Auster consists of four different versions of the life of Archibald Issac Ferguson, born in Newark, New Jersey in 1947 (the same year as Auster). Descended … Continue reading →

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Rathbones Folio Prize: Q&A with Richard Lloyd Parry

Today I’m very pleased to host a Q&A with Richard Lloyd Parry who has been shortlisted for the Rathbones Folio Prize for his brilliant book Ghosts of the Tsunami – one of the best books I read in 2017. It is a … Continue reading →

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Why I’ll give myself a deadline…but not an expiration date.

Hey guys,

One of the things that keeps me always striving to accomplish my goals is my habit of setting deadlines. Setting a due date for myself gives me the structure I need to push myself forward. It puts me in a “no excuses” mindset to GET. THINGS. DONE.

Plus the feeling of making a to-do list and then getting to check the items off as I go is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world! I mean, right!?

I’ve been goal planning since I was a kid. I had big dreams and I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything stop me from making them happen! I knew I wanted to have an impact on the world. I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer. I knew that one day I’d be the CEO of my own company.  
The crazy thing is…because I never gave up, those things are happening RIGHT NOW. I kept trying. I kept pushing. I kept setting goals and CRUSHING THEM. And I am so grateful every single day that I get to live my dream.

However, of course, there are things I wanted so bad that never happened. Things that I “expired” out of.

Growing up, one of my biggest dreams was to be named Top 25 Under 25 by one of those business magazines – like Forbes. Inc., or Entrepreneur. As I crept closer and closer to 25, I felt more pressure (from within) to hurry up and start making a name for myself! I applied every year that they opened up applications. But I never heard back from any of the editors. 

When I turned 25, I felt like I had done something wrong. Like I was a failure. Like I was too old and too unsuccessful. I started doubting myself. Like, was anything I had accomplished thus far even any any good? Sigh.

Do you see the problem here? I was letting someone else tell me what the definition of success was supposed to looked like. I was letting a publication who didn’t even know me dictate the definition of everything I wanted to be. I was letting a stranger control my happiness and my “shelf life”. And you know what? That’s absolutely absurd! 

BECAUSE WHO CARES.

If you’re feeling any pressure right now to be someone or do something by a certain age, I urge you to stop feeling like you’re going to run out of time. You’ve gotta watch “The Expiry Date” by SK–II. It’s all the feels.



This video illustrates the intense pressure for Asian women to get married by the age of 30. If you don’t have a husband by then, you’re considered too old, unwanted, and no good. And the worst part is, just by being born a girl, you’re ALREADY considered a burden to your family. In the Asian culture, boys are typically seen as more valuable than girls.

Luckily for me, my parents did not pressure me to get married by a certain age. BUT they did intensely pressure and scare me into a career path I did not want for myself. In both cases, the parents are trying to secure financial stability for their children. Now that I am older, I see their intention. However, that doesn’t make the shaming and the judging okay. Not by our parents and definitely not by society. I loved Chloe Bennet’s interview talking about the topic.

You’re never too young, too old, or too ANYTHING to do ANYTHING! I want you to keep being you regardless of what other people think. Not to be morbid, but I suppose the only expiration date we have is the one that is engraved into our tombstone. But even then, you can still leave a forever impact on this world if you live positively, passionately, and choose to serve others.

Love, 
Cassey

The post Why I’ll give myself a deadline…but not an expiration date. appeared first on Blogilates.

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Why I’ll give myself a deadline…but not an expiration date.

Hey guys,

One of the things that keeps me always striving to accomplish my goals is my habit of setting deadlines. Setting a due date for myself gives me the structure I need to push myself forward. It puts me in a “no excuses” mindset to GET. THINGS. DONE.

Plus the feeling of making a to-do list and then getting to check the items off as I go is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world! I mean, right!?

I’ve been goal planning since I was a kid. I had big dreams and I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything stop me from making them happen! I knew I wanted to have an impact on the world. I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer. I knew that one day I’d be the CEO of my own company.  
The crazy thing is…because I never gave up, those things are happening RIGHT NOW. I kept trying. I kept pushing. I kept setting goals and CRUSHING THEM. And I am so grateful every single day that I get to live my dream.

However, of course, there are things I wanted so bad that never happened. Things that I “expired” out of.

Growing up, one of my biggest dreams was to be named Top 25 Under 25 by one of those business magazines – like Forbes. Inc., or Entrepreneur. As I crept closer and closer to 25, I felt more pressure (from within) to hurry up and start making a name for myself! I applied every year that they opened up applications. But I never heard back from any of the editors. 

When I turned 25, I felt like I had done something wrong. Like I was a failure. Like I was too old and too unsuccessful. I started doubting myself. Like, was anything I had accomplished thus far even any any good? Sigh.

Do you see the problem here? I was letting someone else tell me what the definition of success was supposed to looked like. I was letting a publication who didn’t even know me dictate the definition of everything I wanted to be. I was letting a stranger control my happiness and my “shelf life”. And you know what? That’s absolutely absurd! 

BECAUSE WHO CARES.

If you’re feeling any pressure right now to be someone or do something by a certain age, I urge you to stop feeling like you’re going to run out of time. You’ve gotta watch “The Expiry Date” by SK–II. It’s all the feels.



This video illustrates the intense pressure for Asian women to get married by the age of 30. If you don’t have a husband by then, you’re considered too old, unwanted, and no good. And the worst part is, just by being born a girl, you’re ALREADY considered a burden to your family. In the Asian culture, boys are typically seen as more valuable than girls.

Luckily for me, my parents did not pressure me to get married by a certain age. BUT they did intensely pressure and scare me into a career path I did not want for myself. In both cases, the parents are trying to secure financial stability for their children. Now that I am older, I see their intention. However, that doesn’t make the shaming and the judging okay. Not by our parents and definitely not by society. I loved Chloe Bennet’s interview talking about the topic.

You’re never too young, too old, or too ANYTHING to do ANYTHING! I want you to keep being you regardless of what other people think. Not to be morbid, but I suppose the only expiration date we have is the one that is engraved into our tombstone. But even then, you can still leave a forever impact on this world if you live positively, passionately, and choose to serve others.

Love, 
Cassey

The post Why I’ll give myself a deadline…but not an expiration date. appeared first on Blogilates.

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