La Belle Sauvage by Philip Pullman

I reread the His Dark Materials trilogy in July in anticipation of the release last month of the first volume of the new Book of Dust trilogy by Philip Pullman which he describes as an “equel” to stand alongside ‘His … Continue reading →

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The Evenings by Gerard Reve

‘The Evenings’ by Gerard Reve has been hailed as a “postwar masterpiece” and “the best Dutch novel of all time” but has only recently been translated by Sam Garrett and published in the UK for the first time by Pushkin … Continue reading →

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It’s okay to “break up” with a friend

 

Hey guys,

November is here and it’s finally getting colder in LA. It was starting to feel like summer would LITERALLY not end, but now we’re getting a taste of sweater weather and I’m excited! Better late than never!

Speaking of sweater weather, have you heard of cuffing season?

The idea is that people start coupling off when it gets colder. At first I was like, this is silly, but it’s…kind of true??? Maybe it’s the pressure of the holidays. All those plus-ones just looming in the distance. But people do seem to get together more in the colder months. 

In honor of cuffing season, today I wanted to talk about heartbreak. But no, not cuffing related heartbreak! Though I guess it’s normal to assume when we hear “heartbreak” it’s associated with a romantic partnership ending.

We’ve all seen couples break up. We’ve seen our friends lovesick over someone when things didn’t work out. It’s actually quite a unifying experience, heartache. Why do you think so many songs are written about it?! Because we all GET it. No matter where we’re from or who we are, we know what heartbreak is about. Taylor writes about an ex and we’re like, “YEAH GIRL! BEEN THERE!”

But heartbreak isn’t always because of a significant other. What about our platonic relationships? What about when you “break up” with a friend? How do you deal?

I had a very VERY close friend in college. It was one of the most magical friendships I ever had. We were like Will & Grace…less than lovers but more than friends. He was my GBF (gay best friend – not even sure if that is politically correct, but I think I need to give you this fact in order for you to understand the rest of the story). We cared for each other and loved each other as much as friends could. I even told him that in the future, should he ever decide to have a baby, I would donate my eggs to him and his partner.

I still can’t really explain to you why what happened next, happened, but when Sam stepped into the picture, this magical relationship broke. It just stopped working like a toy that ran out of batteries. And the sad part was, none of us knew where to find the batteries.

My GBF just didn’t talk to me in the same way anymore…he said he was happy for me…but he wouldn’t want to get to know Sam. We started hanging out less. I felt like he was abandoning me, but the truth is, looking back now, I think he felt abandoned too.

I was heart broken. Completely devastated that I was losing my best friend in the world. I was crying in my car, listening to Leona Lewis sad songs and feeling so confused. Eventually, we had a heart to heart and decided that it would be best to stop spending time with each other because it hurt him too much. So we literally and officially “broke up”.

I didn’t know friend break ups could be a thing until I experienced one. And let me tell you, it hurts just as bad as a breakup between lovers.

Losing someone is HARD. Always. No matter what context it’s in. Sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes there are people who are creating too much toxic energy in our lives. And sometimes…you just drift apart. No one is at fault. Life happens and you simply find yourselves going down two different paths.

Relationships take WORK. They require commitment and not everything is sunshine and puppies all the time. The friendships that really matter, the ones that are meant to survive, make it through the hard moments. The friendships that you’re going to have until you’re old and wrinkly and reminiscing about the good old days will stay.

But if someone repeatedly hurts you, if “a friend” doesn’t support you or treats you poorly, that is probably not a friend you want to stick around forever. And guess what? That’s. Okay.

There’s this weird guilt that comes with friendship break ups. Because, again, we’re not used to it. We know the deal with romantic break ups. They happen. They suck. You deal. You move on. No one really talks about the process of parting ways with a friend. But it’s just as real and painful.

It’s perfectly okay to decide someone no longer serves a good purpose in your life. (Like how my GBF knew that keeping me in his life caused too much pain.) It’s perfectly okay to recognize a friendship has run its course. People change. What we want changes. What we want to be surrounded with changes.

If a friend keeps causing you heartache, take some time to reflect. Have you talked about it? Are they receptive to your feelings? Do you even enjoy spending time together anymore? Ask yourself some honest questions and let yourself sit with it for a bit. If it’s time to move forward, don’t feel bad about doing just that.

You have to protect your heart. And if you’re around people who are destroying it rather than taking care of it, you should find new people to be around. Because there are beautiful, amazing people who will give you the love you need. Those people are worth finding. Trust me.

Have you ever “broken up” with a friend? What was the reasoning? What happened?

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November 2017 Workout Calendar!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN GUYS!!!

Did you dress up today?! Blogifam sure did!

Halloween is one of my fave holidays because you get to dress like a weirdo, walk around in professional settings, and people will think it’s totally okay :) Societal norms are kinda thrown out the window today!

I did a poll on IG stories and it said that 78% of you did not dress up today! It totally surprised me! But, I guess we’re all getting older aren’t we? Well, no matter if you’re in full gear or if you’re celebrating in spirit, just don’t forget to have fun…and don’t take yourself too seriously!

Now…are you ready for the month of giving? And EATING!!??? Y’all NOVEMBER IS HERE!!!!

Ugh, time goes by so fast. Sometimes I wonder if when I’m 80, I’ll still be blogging, and I’ll still be saying “whoa I can’t believe it’s [insert month] already!” I need to figure out how to slow down mentally so that it doesn’t feel like time is flying at 1000 miles an hour everyday. I need to go back to meditating again. I only did it for 2 days and then went to Dubai. Traveling always messes up my flow!

Anyway, here is your brand new November 2017 Workout Calendar!

Download linked PDF | Download hi-res JPEG

As usual, remember to do each video listed once, and check them off as you finish your daily workouts! On Thanksgiving Day, if you’re not doing a Turkey Trot, then ask some of your family members to join you for the workout of the day! Family bonding time ya know!? Stay active, and then eat to fill your soul!!!

Then guys, BLACK FRIDAY!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! All I am going to say is you’ll wanna prep yourselves for the craziest POPFLEX Black Friday Sale EVERRRRR. Begins at 12am EST Friday the 24th!

Then CYBER MONDAY?? Oohhh, you just might wanna check out PIIT28.com. Just saying ;)

Ok that is all! Who’s ready for November!??

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The Sunday Times Young Writer of the Year Award Shortlist 2017

The PFD Sunday Times Young Writer of the Year Award shortlist for 2017 has been announced today. This year, the official judges have selected five books rather than four and they are: Outlandish Knight: The Byzantine Life of Steven Runciman … Continue reading →

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Halloween should be fun, not something you feel guilty about

 

Oh. Em. Gee. Halloween is almost here and I’m SOOOO excited! I’ve always loved Halloween. It’s the one day you are basically allowed to play dress up as an adult and nobody thinks it’s weird. I kind of wish every day was Halloween…Well, actually…I sorta it made this October that way with my Supehero workout series on YouTube! Did you see all my costumes yet!? If not, here’s a lil recap!

Me as Wonder Woman!

Me as Sailor Moon!

Me as Super Girl!

Me as Chun Li from Street Fighter…flighting Ken! (Sam!)

I’ve got one more Shero that I will dress up as this weekend for the release of the final workout in the Superhero series! She’s fast, nimble, dark, and…she also purrrssss. Can you guess who it is?

Anyway, let’s talk the other fun part of Halloween – the food!

Candy, cookies, chocolates galore! There’s “temptation” from every corner. So, how do you deal with controlling yourself when all your friends and co-workers are eating sweets all day long?

Listen, your progress isn’t going to be ruined just by one night. You are allowed to indulge. A healthy lifestyle isn’t meant to feel like you’re being deprived. It’s about listening to your body, nourishing it, giving it what it needs to work at its best.

But yes, there will be days like Halloween when you go to a party and someone made cookies in the shape of ghosts and serves you blood-colored strawberry margaritas. How can you resist?!?!?

It comes down to one word: moderation. I want you to have FUN on Halloween! I want you to cut yourself some slack. When we do things in moderation, we get to experience the best of both worlds.

BUT, if you’re REALLY worried about getting off track on Halloween because you’re the “once you pop, you can’t stop” type of person, here are some realistic tactics!

1. Drink a lot of water. Staying hydrated is going to make you feel better altogether, especially if you are drinking any alcoholic beverage or something sugary during festivities.
2. Schedule a workout in the morning! Work up a sweat and get your body moving. You won’t feel as “guilty” about having some fun in the evening!
3. Make healthy Halloween alternatives! So what if you’re THAT person who healthifies everything. If it makes you happy, if it keeps you from binging, and if it helps educate other people on how to cook creatively, then do it!

Check out these cute pumpkin tangerines with little green bean stalks! And half banana ghosts with choco chips! Adobrs right!?

Look, life is not meant to be so strict all the time. Being flexible is more than just if you can touch your toes! It’s a mindset. And one night isn’t going to undo all the hard work you’ve been putting in. So have fun. Be safe. And take LOTS of pictures! I want to see your costumes!

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The Sunday Times Young Writer of the Year Award 2017 Shadow Panel

I am very pleased to be on the official shadow panel for this year’s Young Writer of the Year Award (sponsored by the Sunday Times, Peters Fraser + Dunlop in association with Warwick University), along with four brilliant book bloggers: … Continue reading →

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